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Longer reads on men's mental health, burnout and resilience, first written for Andrew's newsletter – newest first. For his short videos as well, see Latest.

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The most common question people ask me about domestic abuse - and why the answer is complicated Read
5 Oct 20265 min read

The most common question people ask me about domestic abuse - and why the answer is complicated

There is one question, which I guarantee someone will ask me, when I've been speaking about domestic abuse (and it's often asked after my men's mental…

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Wintery burnout - are you ready? Read
28 Sept 20265 min read

Wintery burnout - are you ready?

Before we know it, it will be Halloween, then fireworks and terrified pets, and on the road to Christmas. In just over a month, on my road at least, the…

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A man in a yellow hard hat and hooded jacket, seen from behind on a blurred city street. Read
21 Sept 20265 min read

'These Men Do' - Louis Theroux's sequel to 'Inside the Manosphere'?

Social media feeds were rife with commentary about both pieces, the first a sensationalist fictional series with a hugely implausible plot, and the…

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A surfer wiping out off a breaking wave as the board flies clear. Read
14 Sept 20265 min read

Know your 'WHY' - it's great advice, but what if your 'WHY' becomes a millstone round your neck?

When I grasp the magnitude of what could be achieved, what it would truly mean and WHY I'm doing it, I might dig deeper to make it happen - so far, so…

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A man and a toddler in a life jacket sit in an orange kayak at the water's edge. Read
7 Sept 20262 min read

Honestly Dad: Masculinity, Connection and 3 groups of dads at risk

My brand new keynote talk on men and fatherhood was always a question of 'when' - not a question of 'if' - and it's now arrived!

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A grey-haired man with a faint smile takes a selfie beside a tree-lined river. Read
31 Aug 20265 min read

You're not coping and your options are limited, so how do you manage burnout?

You know the basics about burnout - the signs, triggers and tips: Get 7-8 hours sleep each night, cut down on booze and UPFs, learn to prioritise,…

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A person leaps from a harbour wall into the sea beside a blue ladder, with dark rocks offshore. Read
24 Aug 20265 min read

At-risk dads: why parenting teenagers is like navigating a minefield

I've been through it once before as a dad with my daughters who are now grown up, and I'm about to go through it again with 3 boys moving towards teenage…

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Why didn't you hit her back? Read
10 Aug 20264 min read

Why didn't you hit her back?

It’s a good question - direct and to the point. A sixth form lad had listened to my talk on my experiences of domestic abuse. He was curious.

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Copies of the book Honestly, Man by Andrew Pain in a delivery box packed with shredded paper. Read
20 Jul 20263 min read

Are men struggling? Why are men struggling? And how do we help?

My first book, ‘Honestly Man’ is released on Aug 6th. It's written as a well researched, yet easy-to-read resource for men, and also for people who might…

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A single empty bench on a parched, yellowed park lawn, with trees behind. Read
13 Jul 20263 min read

I'm getting less done in this heat - and I don't feel bad about it

It's just too hot. I don't mind a bit of sunshine, but here in the UK, our cities are not built for heatwaves, so we have to manage our expectations…

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A man in a woolly hat sits cross-legged on a city pavement by a shop window, with bags and a paper cup beside him. Read
6 Jul 20266 min read

Are we less sympathetic to struggling men? And if we are - so what?

I know this sounds provocative, but the title is not clickbait, and I'm not trying to be controversial in order to raise levels of engagement in the…

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A red road sign reading 'Changed priorities ahead' on a street between brick buildings. Read
29 Jun 20263 min read

The burnout risk hidden inside every change programme

You probably recognise this curve below. It's the Kubler Ross Change Curve, invented in 1969 by Dr Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, who introduced the 5 stages of…

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Image by Linkedin Sales Solutions - taken from Unsplash Read
22 Jun 20267 min read

Courageous conversations & men: how to get them started and why they matter

Most of us have been there: we've reasoned why it's sensible not to get involved because its none of our business and it's probably fine. Or maybe, we…

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A lone climber silhouetted high on a sandstone cliff against a bright, hazy sky. Read
15 Jun 20264 min read

If you're already overwhelmed but have a goal to complete, do this:

The feeling of impending doom grew through 2024, when I came to realise there was no way out.

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Taken during COVID lockdown - they wanted to play in the garden for a bit, before pressing on with more home schooling Read
8 Jun 20265 min read

Sir Gareth Southgate is spot-on: some of the difference between girls and boys behaviour is down to nature not nurture

I am SO happy to read this. It's a point many of us have been making in the men and boys space and it's a point I make in the chapter on Fatherhood, in my…

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A stern-faced man points straight at the camera. Read
1 Jun 20266 min read

Tough talk won't solve burnout, but C.A.R. might

We tend to fall into camp A or B.

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A bearded, shirtless man lifts a barbell in a gym. Read
18 May 20266 min read

Why my man code kept me silently stuck in domestic abuse (and how I changed it)

It was a fair question. There were cuts and bruises I just couldn’t hide. So out came the excuses - shaving accidents - falling over whilst drunk -…

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Feet in orange trainers climbing a blue metal staircase. Read
11 May 20265 min read

When life sucks and the future looks bleak, how do you find hope?

People who drain you? You don't need them in your life. Get rid of your drainers!

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Image by Pierre Bamin Read
5 May 20268 min read

Why the housing crisis is a missing piece for men's mental health - but not an easy one to fit in place

You can’t blame feminism or the patriarchy, nor can you blame the manosphere: it’s happened because of decisions made years ago.

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A black-and-white photograph of soldiers jumping from a hovering helicopter into scrub. Read
27 Apr 20265 min read

Resilience Without False Positivity: The Stockdale Principle in action

Most people have never heard of the Stockdale Paradox, but it offers a crucial insight on how to encourage both ourselves and each other, when life is…

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(This is me - taken all those years go - I didn't smile so much back then - I have more grey hair today, but a more smil Read
20 Apr 20266 min read

Men and therapy: why it's not your fault if it didn't help - and what to do instead.

This is a statement I've heard many times over. It breaks my heart when men then question themselves because counselling/therapy didn't work, convinced…

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A computer screen playing a short video of the comedian Jimmy Carr speaking in a suit. Read
30 Mar 20266 min read

Jimmy Carr is right: when positive role models are absent, negative influencers move in

I never thought a TV series could generate as much social media noise, as the Netflix series, Adolescence (watched by over 140M households within its…

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Photo by Matheus Protzen Read
16 Mar 20266 min read

Men's networks: it's a no-brainer, right?

It's not new news - we've known it for a while - it really is quite straight forward.

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Image by Mario Layaquerevalu Read
2 Mar 20264 min read

The Testosterone Crisis: men's levels are in decline and it's not just bad news for libidos and biceps

Even the BBC are writing about it. Wherever you look, the evidence is compelling. Globally, men's levels of testosterone are in decline, it's happening…

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Photo by Cottonbro Studio Read
16 Feb 20262 min read

Fatherhood: it's less about treats and gifts, more about the connection (and protecting it)

Three boys, aged 6, 9 and 12 ... so our house?

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A runner's feet on a shaded woodland path, seen from behind. Read
9 Feb 20264 min read

From overwhelmed father with a tonne of excuses, to mover and shaker - 3 hacks have revolutionised my life

You had big hopes. This time, you were really serious.

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Photo by Leo Foureaux Read
2 Feb 20262 min read

BEWARE: Lord of the Flies is soon to air on the BBC!

I'm showing my age but at 51, we studied Lord of the Flies at school. As a spoiler-alert, for anyone who has not read it, a group of boys get marooned on…

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A small child sits on a man's shoulders, both seen from behind against a pale sky. Read
26 Jan 20264 min read

Why the family courts is a key part of addressing men's mental health

After nearly 3 years of family court action (the first time where I secured custody of my daughters, the second time, where I was battling against my ex's…

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