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Are men struggling? Why are men struggling? And how do we help?

By Andrew Pain Updated 3 min read

My first book, ‘Honestly Man’ is released on Aug 6th. It’s written as a well researched, yet easy-to-read resource for men, and also for people who might be worried about a man and want to broaden their understanding on why men might be struggling. With all profits raised from book sales being invested in UK charities/projects supporting men and boys, the book answers three key questions:

  1. Are men struggling?

  2. Why are men struggling?

  3. How do we help?

Drawing on 52 years of lived experience, the voices of my 60 male podcast guests, as well as global research, the book explores critical topics affecting the men in your workplace and in your communities/homes today including: 

  • Redefining how we think about masculinity: If old masculinity codes are not fit for purpose today, what’s changed to make them so dated? How have these changes impacted men? And we can we think about masculinity in a way which is inspirational, and flexible?

  • The empathy gap: If research shows that we’re less sympathetic to struggling men than women in the same predicament, why is this the case? And what does it mean for men today?

  • Negative media messaging and political laziness: If men are generally negatively portrayed in the media, and government has been hesitant about championing men and boys’ causes, what does this mean for men today? And how can we improve the narrative about men and boys at a political level and within the media?

  • The testosterone crisis: Why is testosterone so important for men’s physical/mental wellbeing? Why are levels of testosterone are dropping across all age groups? What does this mean for men and how do we reverse the decline?

An open copy of Honestly, Man at chapter 6, The testosterone crisis Chapter 6 - ‘Honestly, Man’

  • Fatherhood: Who are the specific groups of fathers at increased risk of poor physical/mental health? From dads who are separated from their children and might be fighting it out in the family courts, to new fathers struggling with finances and sleep deprivation, how do we support the current generation of fathers to be the best they can be? And as busy working dads, how can we connect effectively with our children when we don’t have much time and we’re juggling demands on all sides.

  • The Digital World: Online gambling, online porn, online envy and the manosphere – these vices/dynamics have always existed in society, but the online world has made them instantly and infinitely accessible - it’s put them on steroids, not just for men of course, but according to the data it’s men who are disproportionately affected. So how do we help men to create better online habits, so their health, relationships and wellbeing are safeguarded?

  • Men’s Communities: There’s been an explosion of men’s communities across the UK over the last 10-15 years, from Man v Fat, to The Proper Blokes Club, Men’s Sheds, Andy’s Man Club and an increasing emergence of men’s networks within organisations across the UK. But what purpose do they serve? For the men who join them, what are they saying? And what can we learn from these communities, so we can effectively engage the men in our workplaces?

If these topics look interesting to you, I’d be honoured if you pre-ordered the book. It’s available through most major book distributors, it’s not long to wait until it’s release (August 6th) and every penny raised (beyond the cost of producing the book) will be invested in charities/projects which would really appreciate funding in these difficult times!

If you want to bring the topic of men’s wellbeing to life, either as part of an away day, or as part of a wellbeing week initiative, or as part of men’s health week (June) or International Men’s Day (November) then get in touch and let’s talk.

I’m a CPD accredited and TEDx speaker, podcaster and author, delivering entertaining, inspirational and relatable keynote talks, grounded in lived experience and global research.

Connect with me: get in touch

And/ Or let’s connect on Linkedin and DM me to book an exploratory conversation

Banner for Honestly, Man by Andrew Pain: the new book, coming soon Available in Kindle and Paperback from Aug 6th - all profits raised from book sales will be invested in charities/projects supporting men and boys

A version of this article was first shared with Andrew's newsletter subscribers on LinkedIn .

Portrait of Andrew Pain

Andrew Pain

Mental Health & Resilience Keynote Speaker

Andrew speaks from lived experience of the pressures he addresses – a working dad juggling a business and family, an award-winning campaigner for men and boys, and an advocate for male survivors of domestic abuse.

  • CPD-accredited keynote programmes .
  • TEDx speaker .
  • Member, International Coaching Federation .
  • Campaigner of the Year 2023, Men and Boys Coalition .

Read more about Andrew

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