Communication
Having a Word
Navigate the 3 'Minefield' Conversation Types in One Piece
Equips leaders and teams to confidently navigate the three most common types of challenging conversations – checking-in, negotiable and non-negotiable – without conflict, blame or miscommunication.
Why this talk
How do we consistently deliver the most effective conversations, which resolve painful situations and/or create much-needed clarity?
If the term 'difficult conversations' carries negative connotations for you, then we could use the words, 'courageous conversations' or 'challenging conversations', but whatever the wording, they're not easy, nobody likes having them, and it's easy to make a complete mess of them.
The hard truth is that we live in a complex, fast-paced society where challenging conversations are an unavoidable part of daily life and necessary for building better organisations, for developing meaningful relationships, and safeguarding our wellbeing. The question therefore is NOT:
HOW DO WE AVOID CHALLENGING CONVERSATIONS?
But instead …
In plain words
Challenging conversation
A conversation nobody likes having and that is easy to get wrong – also called a difficult or courageous conversation. In a complex, fast-paced society it is unavoidable, and necessary for building better organisations, developing meaningful relationships and safeguarding our wellbeing.
What this session covers
The agenda, point by point
Everything your audience will move through – so you can judge the fit before you book.
- 1
The three most common types of challenging conversations (checking-in, negotiable and non-negotiable) how they're different, why their differences demand a different response and how to prepare for either conversation.
- 2
The most common biases which undermine effective conversations, from halo effect, affinity bias, hindsight bias and recency bias, to planning fallacy.
- 3
Boundaries: why they're at the heart of effective conversations, the 3 types of boundaries to look out for and how to master your boundaries to create better outcomes.
- 4
Language: how to avoid the most obstructive language habits, so that your delivery of a challenging conversation is free of subconscious, inflammatory language.
- 5
How to effectively set up a challenging conversation, whilst avoiding the fateful phrase: "can I have a word please?"
- 6
How to manage your state and take the heat out of a conversation, when things are getting tense and you're struggling to think clearly.
- 7
The difference between focussed and unfocussed listening and the powerful steps to take, in order to ensure your listening is focussed.
What your people leave with
Concrete outcomes, not vague good feelings
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Understand the three types of challenging conversations and how to prepare for each
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Recognise the cognitive biases that sabotage effective conversations
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Set and maintain boundaries to create better outcomes
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Eliminate inflammatory language habits from your communication
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Set up challenging conversations without triggering defensiveness
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Manage your emotional state when conversations get heated
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Apply focussed listening techniques to stay present and effective
Who it's for
Leaders, managers and teams who need to hold honest, high-stakes conversations at work
Mental Health & Resilience Keynote Speaker
Andrew speaks from lived experience – warm, honest and human, with the experience to back it up.
Andrew Pain is a TEDx speaker with 25 years’ HR experience, and his credentials include CPD-accredited keynote programmes; Member, International Coaching Federation; and Campaigner of the Year 2023, Men and Boys Coalition.
- TEDx speaker .
- Host of the Men on Show podcast (60 episodes) .
- Author of the book Honestly, Man .
- Member, International Coaching Federation .
Formats & logistics
Shaped to fit your event.
Andrew tailors every talk to your audience, theme and time slot. Here's how the practical side usually works – tell him the room and he'll shape the rest.
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Talk length
Keynotes usually run 45 minutes to an hour, sometimes 90. Around two hours it becomes a workshop; longer than that is rare.
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Audience size
From an intimate group of 8–12 to a main-stage audience of 200–250. Interactive workshops usually sit around 40–70.
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AV & tech
Andrew works with whatever setup you have. And if the tech fails, the show still goes on – he'll present without slides.
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In-person or virtual
Delivered on-site or online, on the platform you already use – most often Teams or Zoom.
“His online delivery was flawless, with delegates instantly engaged, even when webinars weren't usually their preferred learning style. If you are looking for a keynote speaker who will get your people having quality conversations about topics they might not ordinarily discuss, I wouldn't hesitate to recommend Andrew.”
Claire Goodwin
Learning & Development Advisor, BUUK Infrastructure
Before you book
Frequently asked
What is Having a Word about?
How leaders and teams can navigate the three most common types of challenging conversation with confidence – without conflict, blame or miscommunication.
What are the three types of challenging conversation?
Checking-in, negotiable and non-negotiable. They differ, their differences demand a different response, and the session covers how to prepare for each.
Who is Having a Word for?
Leaders, managers and teams who need to hold honest, high-stakes conversations at work.
What does Having a Word cover?
The three types of challenging conversation, the biases that undermine effective conversations, boundaries, language habits, how to set a conversation up without the fateful phrase "can I have a word please?", how to manage your state when things get tense, and focussed listening.
Bring this to your organisation
Ready to talk it through?
Tell us about your event and audience – we'll come back with availability and how Having a Word could land for your people.