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12 Oct 2026Video

5 Oct 2026Video

The most common question people ask me about domestic abuse - and why the answer is complicated Read
5 Oct 20265 min read

The most common question people ask me about domestic abuse - and why the answer is complicated

To help a mate stuck in domestic abuse, expect defensiveness and plant seeds – the empathy gap, masculinity codes, testosterone and loyalty explain why.

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28 Sept 2026Video

Wintery burnout - are you ready? Read
28 Sept 20265 min read

Wintery burnout - are you ready?

Winter brings less daylight, bigger bills, loneliness and temptation, so here are seven habits I use to protect my wellbeing through the darker months.

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23 Sept 2026Video

21 Sept 2026Video

A man in a yellow hard hat and hooded jacket, seen from behind on a blurred city street. Read
21 Sept 20265 min read

'These Men Do' - Louis Theroux's sequel to 'Inside the Manosphere'?

TV about the manosphere gets the attention, but we have an empathy gap and rarely celebrate men – we need to showcase positive male role models.

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17 Sept 2026Video

14 Sept 2026Video

A surfer wiping out off a breaking wave as the board flies clear. Read
14 Sept 20265 min read

Know your 'WHY' - it's great advice, but what if your 'WHY' becomes a millstone round your neck?

A big 'WHY' can become a millstone when progress is slow – motivation comes from seeing progress today and believing more is possible.

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9 Sept 2026Video

7 Sept 2026Video

A man and a toddler in a life jacket sit in an orange kayak at the water's edge. Read
7 Sept 20262 min read

Honestly Dad: Masculinity, Connection and 3 groups of dads at risk

My new keynote on fatherhood covers why dads matter, why it's so challenging today and three groups of dads at increased risk.

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31 Aug 2026Video

A grey-haired man with a faint smile takes a selfie beside a tree-lined river. Read
31 Aug 20265 min read

You're not coping and your options are limited, so how do you manage burnout?

When you can't change your life, accepting specific truths helps: social media is everyone's best bits, everyone is winging it, and life is about seasons.

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24 Aug 2026Video

A person leaps from a harbour wall into the sea beside a blue ladder, with dark rocks offshore. Read
24 Aug 20265 min read

At-risk dads: why parenting teenagers is like navigating a minefield

Dads of teenagers are an at-risk group: five things I've learned parenting teens, first with my daughters and now with three boys.

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17 Aug 2026Video

10 Aug 2026Video

Why didn't you hit her back? Read
10 Aug 20264 min read

Why didn't you hit her back?

Why I didn't hit back when my ex attacked me, and why talk about domestic abuse shouldn't assume men are the perpetrators and women the victims.

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3 Aug 2026Video

Copies of the book Honestly, Man by Andrew Pain in a delivery box packed with shredded paper. Read
20 Jul 20263 min read

Are men struggling? Why are men struggling? And how do we help?

My book Honestly, Man asks whether men are struggling, why, and how we help – from masculinity and the empathy gap to fatherhood and men's communities.

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16 Jul 2026Video

A single empty bench on a parched, yellowed park lawn, with trees behind. Read
13 Jul 20263 min read

I'm getting less done in this heat - and I don't feel bad about it

In a heatwave I get less done, and I don't feel bad about it – why we should manage our expectations and pace ourselves in the heat.

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A man in a woolly hat sits cross-legged on a city pavement by a shop window, with bags and a paper cup beside him. Read
6 Jul 20266 min read

Are we less sympathetic to struggling men? And if we are - so what?

Research suggests we're less sympathetic to struggling men than to women in the same situation – why that matters, and how we close the empathy gap.

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A red road sign reading 'Changed priorities ahead' on a street between brick buildings. Read
29 Jun 20263 min read

The burnout risk hidden inside every change programme

Change isn't a neat curve but a messy splat, and there's no stage where the risk of burnout disappears – what that means for leaders managing change.

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Image by Linkedin Sales Solutions - taken from Unsplash Read
22 Jun 20267 min read

Courageous conversations & men: how to get them started and why they matter

Conversations save lives: my neighbour's three-part approach – I care, direct dialogue, I'm here – shows how to start one with a man you're worried about.

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A lone climber silhouetted high on a sandstone cliff against a bright, hazy sky. Read
15 Jun 20264 min read

If you're already overwhelmed but have a goal to complete, do this:

How I wrote a book while maxed out, with 30 minutes a day for a year – and three tips for finishing a goal when you're overwhelmed.

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Taken during COVID lockdown - they wanted to play in the garden for a bit, before pressing on with more home schooling Read
8 Jun 20265 min read

Sir Gareth Southgate is spot-on: some of the difference between girls and boys behaviour is down to nature not nurture

Gareth Southgate is right that some differences between boys and girls are down to nature, and that should shape how we teach and parent them.

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A stern-faced man points straight at the camera. Read
1 Jun 20266 min read

Tough talk won't solve burnout, but C.A.R. might

Tough talk breeds resentment and risks repeat burnout; what helps is C.A.R. – compassionate conversation, action and reframing rest as an investment.

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A bearded, shirtless man lifts a barbell in a gym. Read
18 May 20266 min read

Why my man code kept me silently stuck in domestic abuse (and how I changed it)

My unwritten rules about being a man kept me stuck in domestic abuse – how I rewrote them into a broader, lighter man code.

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Feet in orange trainers climbing a blue metal staircase. Read
11 May 20265 min read

When life sucks and the future looks bleak, how do you find hope?

When generic advice irritates, the Progress Principle helps: small steps in meaningful work lift motivation, so notice and celebrate each day's progress.

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Image by Pierre Bamin Read
5 May 20268 min read

Why the housing crisis is a missing piece for men's mental health - but not an easy one to fit in place

The housing crisis is a missing piece in men's mental health: I look at why it may hit young men hardest, what caused it and what might help.

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A black-and-white photograph of soldiers jumping from a hovering helicopter into scrub. Read
27 Apr 20265 min read

Resilience Without False Positivity: The Stockdale Principle in action

The Stockdale Paradox: accept how tough things are today but never lose hope you'll prevail – encouragement for teams without false positivity.

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(This is me - taken all those years go - I didn't smile so much back then - I have more grey hair today, but a more smil Read
20 Apr 20266 min read

Men and therapy: why it's not your fault if it didn't help - and what to do instead.

If counselling didn't work for you, it's not your fault – communication styles, testosterone and too few male counsellors may all play a part.

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A computer screen playing a short video of the comedian Jimmy Carr speaking in a suit. Read
30 Mar 20266 min read

Jimmy Carr is right: when positive role models are absent, negative influencers move in

I welcome Jimmy Carr's comments on the manosphere: influencers chase engagement, and the fix needs commitment, cash and open minds.

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Photo by Matheus Protzen Read
16 Mar 20266 min read

Men's networks: it's a no-brainer, right?

Five lessons from men who built men's communities: it takes time, ask directly, prove community matters, allow variety and be ready to let go.

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Image by Mario Layaquerevalu Read
2 Mar 20264 min read

The Testosterone Crisis: men's levels are in decline and it's not just bad news for libidos and biceps

Men's testosterone is falling at every age, mostly due to lifestyle, and the risks go well beyond libido – the good news is that in most cases, it's reversible.

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Photo by Cottonbro Studio Read
16 Feb 20262 min read

Fatherhood: it's less about treats and gifts, more about the connection (and protecting it)

Connection with your kids happens in everyday moments like bedtime or the drive to football – find where it's already happening and protect it.

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A runner's feet on a shaded woodland path, seen from behind. Read
9 Feb 20264 min read

From overwhelmed father with a tonne of excuses, to mover and shaker - 3 hacks have revolutionised my life

Three hacks that help me follow through as an overwhelmed working father: treat slips as temporary, have an Option B, and use a shoehorn step.

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Photo by Leo Foureaux Read
2 Feb 20262 min read

BEWARE: Lord of the Flies is soon to air on the BBC!

Before the BBC's Lord of the Flies stirs talk of toxic masculinity, remember it's fiction – the real boys marooned on an island looked after each other.

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A small child sits on a man's shoulders, both seen from behind against a pale sky. Read
26 Jan 20264 min read

Why the family courts is a key part of addressing men's mental health

Family courts are an emotional pressure cooker, and employers serious about men's mental health need to talk about them – four action points.

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