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Andrew Pain

andrewpain.co.uk

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Lived experience

A Survivor's Guide to Building Abuse-Aware Workplaces

Andrew explores how abuse unfolds, why victims stay silent, and how colleagues and organisations can respond with confidence – drawing on his lived experience as a domestic abuse survivor and TEDx speaker.

Andrew Pain speaking

What this session covers

  1. How people from all walks of life get embroiled in abusive relationships.
  2. What life is like, day-to-day, for people caught in abusive relationships, from the impact on employment performance, to wider family relationships, their self confidence and decision making.
  3. Why people stay in abusive relationships and become their abuser's greatest defender and excuse maker.
  4. Why victims are often reluctant to admit that they're the victim of domestic abuse and how to reach out to someone you might be worried about.
  5. The reality of gaslighting: what it is and how it manifests itself in abusive relationships.
  6. Life after abuse: from personal safety to parental alienation and the family courts. Why the rebuilding process is time consuming and complex.
  7. The red flags of abusive relationships: what you should look out for when forming new relationships and how to take action early if necessary.

What your people leave with

  • Understand how people from all backgrounds become caught in abusive relationships.
  • Recognise the day-to-day reality of abuse and its impact on work, family and self-confidence.
  • Know why victims stay and become their abuser's defenders.
  • Learn how to reach out to someone you're worried about without making things worse.
  • Understand gaslighting – what it is and how it presents.
  • Know the red flags to look for in new relationships and when to act early.
  • Appreciate why recovery from abuse is complex and long-term.

Who it's for

HR teams, managers, safeguarding leads, employee wellbeing leads and anyone who wants to build a more abuse-aware and supportive workplace culture.

Formats & logistics

Talk length
Keynotes usually run 45 minutes to an hour, sometimes 90. Around two hours it becomes a workshop; longer than that is rare.
Audience size
From an intimate group of 8–12 to a main-stage audience of 200–250. Interactive workshops usually sit around 40–70.
AV & tech
Andrew works with whatever setup you have. And if the tech fails, the show still goes on – he'll present without slides.
In-person or virtual
Delivered on-site or online, on the platform you already use – most often Teams or Zoom.

If you need support now

This talk draws on lived experience and is educational – it is not medical or therapeutic advice. If you or someone you know needs support now: