From overwhelmed father with a tonne of excuses, to mover and shaker - 3 hacks have revolutionised my life

You had big hopes. This time, you were really serious.

• The goals about weight loss and fitness.
• Your dry January determination.
• The turning over of a digital leaf: no more mindless scrolling and no more p#orn.

2026 is YOUR year, right?

But you fell off the wagon, life took over and you became despondent. Now we’re into February, nothing changed at all. It’s same old - same old. You’re sick of SMART goals and growth hacks. You read atomic habits. It was fabulous and was supposed to change your life. But its impact was temporary - very temporary. So why can’t you do it? What’s wrong with you?

Nothing is wrong with you!

We live in a fast-paced, complex society, subjected to a level of information and distraction which would have been unthinkable only 60-70 years ago. Society changed but the human brain did not. I’m not perfect either but nothing is wrong with me. I fall off just like you. I struggle with daily overwhelm as a working father whose wife also works, but there are a few hacks and mindset shifts which have revolutionised my productivity and wellbeing. In fact, there are three.

1) Falling off the wagon is a deviation (temporary) not a derailment (permanent).

When you give in to temptation and do something which runs contrary to fulfilling your goal (the cravings for the Greggs sausage roll overtook you - you’d been p#rn free for a month, but your willpower suddenly disappeared) it’s easy to embark on a trail of self-destruction which can last for days, plunging yourself into self-loathing. But take a guilt-free perspective because you’re a human living through tricky times. Falling off the wagon is inevitable at times, but it’s not permanent because you can climb straight back on. A deviation is not permanent, but derailment is.

Think about what happened to trigger the deviation. Next time you’re walking home from the station, avoid going anywhere near that Greggs. Next time you’ve had a bad day, knowing you might be more susceptible to a porn session, invite your mate out for a drink, head to the gym, go for a long walk but stay out the house until your partner is back. Do not be in your house alone if you can avoid it. Remember, we live in an ‘immediate’ society with everything at our fingertips, but progress for anything meaningful is actually pretty slow. It’s 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Habits don’t just form in 21 days, they can take months to properly form, with plenty of fractures along the way.

2) The option B hack

We can become so fixated on our goals and the steps to achieve them, that anything which prevents us from completing our planned action that day, means we don’t bother at all, then we feel lousy and frustrated that we’re falling behind. I have chin-up bar days every other day, but if I’m away working and in a hotel, usually I travel via train so won’t have my bar with me. So plan B when I’m in a hotel room is press ups and sit ups instead. I won’t give in and make excuses:

‘oh, well, I can’t do anything today, I’ll miss it’

I’ll work out what I can do instead, even if it is less action … so long as it is something, that’s ok. I’m flexible and accept that stuff happens which gets in the way of you doing your action steps, so change the steps that day, or do less steps, but do something.

3) The shoehorn hack

You know the shoe fits, but it won’t go on your damn foot. After minutes of loosening the laces and squeezing and squashing but you’re still struggling, you pick up a shoehorn and in your foot goes, no problem!

The shoehorn hack is where you have an action step you want to take, but you’re struggling to summon up the energy to do it, so instead, do something, which makes it more likely you’ll take that action step.

For example:

If you’re getting started with running and your intention is to go for a run today, but you’re making excuses not to, if you’re already dressed in running trainers and joggers, you’re half way there.

All you now need to do is leave the house and off you go. Focus on putting the trainers and joggers on because the rest will probably take care of itself.

On a chin up bar day, if the bar is under a pile of junk in the front room, I guarantee, I won’t do it. So as the kids go to school, all I need to do, is put the bar up in the doorframe. That’s it. I can then take the kids to school and know that because the bar is up and ready in the doorframe, the rest will take care of itself. Is there an easy step you can take, which will make it easier for you to do the thing you really want to do? If so, focus on that and make sure you do it!

3 hacks - they’ve revolutionised my ability to deliver on my intentions and plans. Do you have any hacks to add to the list?