Jimmy Carr is right: when positive role models are absent, negative influencers move in

I never thought a TV series could generate as much social media noise, as the Netflix series, Adolescence (watched by over 140M households within its first 3 months of release) But it’s happened: Louis Theroux’s ‘The Manosphere’, a one-off, documentary (rather than fictional, drama series) has prompted an outpouring of opinions. It’s like the aftermath of Adolescence all over again!

Rather than add to the mountain of commentary on The Manosphere programme itself, I’m honing in on comments made by British comedian Jimmy Carr, who at one of his gigs, on his UK tour (Jimmy Carr: Laughs Funny” 2024–2026) was asked what he thought about Theroux’s documentary.

1) “Negative manosphere influencers are at least talking to our young men. Their intent is OK - their content is terrible”.

Whether it’s Bonnie Blue, Andrew Tate, or HKTikkyTokky, online influencers are driven by their thirst for engagement (clicks, likes, shares, comments).

More engagement = more money.

Less engagement = less money.

Low engagement = no money at all.

And of the 3 following options, what is the most likely approach for cash-generating engagement?

• Being a decent person and talking about your volunteering at the local food bank?
• Sharing posts about your 9-5 job, and the value of learning, graft and patience?
• Shocking people with extreme content: sleeping with 1000 men in 24 hours - slating and hating other groups of people - pulling off ridiculous stunts - flashing bling and a champagne lifestyle, which is fantasy land for the vast majority of people?

The influencers who Theroux focussed on, had their own sad stories (the absent father - the violent mother) but more than that, they understand the reality that extreme content sells - wholesome content doesn’t. They could post about mutual respect, patience and kindness but they’d kiss goodbye to their villa + pool in Marbella.

The influencers understand this. Both their content AND intent is terrible because their ‘intent’ is driven solely by engagement, because engagement = cash. They don’t care about their followers, aside from the cash that their attention can raise. This sole motive (engagement = cash) includes the manosphere influencers - and it goes beyond the manosphere too.

2) “We need better voices. No one talks about the positives of masculinity”.

We’re trying Jimmy: we’re definitely trying. It can feel like an uphill battle.

It’s why I set up my podcast Men on Show (nearing our 60th episode) showcasing the stories of countless organisations who are doing amazing work across the UK with our young men. There are male heroes everywhere doing their bit, being wonderful role models, campaigning, speaking up, - in my podcast, I’ve had the privilege of interviewing some of them … Richard Pomfrett - Mike Nicholson - Joel Shaljean - Richard Loftus - Ben Mason - Scott Johnson - Christian Chalfont MBACP - Chris Hemmings Dr Alex Blower - Andy Hamilton - Dr Jack Woodhams - Stephen Hall MNCPS (Acc.) Mark Brooks OBE Ally Fogg Daniele Fiandaca Steve Phillip Azim Khamisa Richard Loftus Daniel Glyde Matt Grisedale Ryan Parke Robin Hadley Jeremy Davies Scott Mair Matt Hudson - this isn’t an exhaustive list - just a sample of many. Check them out. See the work they’re doing. Be amazed by them. Mainstream media largely ignores them.

What we really need is Louis Theroux to do a follow up series to the Manosphere, called: ‘These Men Do’, showcasing the amazing work being done by the male heroes we rarely hear about. But, back to the real world - it won’t get made because largely speaking, in mainstream media and across social media, negativity sells more than positivity, particularly negativity about men.

3) “I don’t want them sat at home on their playstation. I don’t want them drinking in the park. I want them with other men, in a space where there’s grown ups. Men keep men in check. The risk to the liver, is nothing in comparison with the risk of social isolation - we need to open our pub doors to under 16s - pubs have been supporting men’s mental health for 200 years”.

Amen to this! Jimmy is spot-on. And if you agree, understand this.

• In the 21st century, we’ve lost 16,000 pubs across the UK and half our nightclubs since austerity measures kicked into gear.
• We’ve lost hundreds of youth centres and thousands of talented youth workers due to austerity and a 70% cut in government funding for youth services.
• Community spaces continue to be sold off as councils try to manage their debts and the provision of essential services.

At the same time, there’s even more reason to stay at home with the rise of social media, Netflix etc and extraordinary gaming. Compare the experience of playing the FIFA computer game today, with the FIFA game of the late 1980s. The difference is mind bending! After 20 minutes of the most basic of play, the computer games I grew up with in the late 1980s, crashed and would need a 30-minute reload.

But what about the communities of men which Jimmy Carr is referring to? Here, we start to hit some brick walls.

Let me put this into perspective.

My 3 boys are in a football club, they’re in a diving club (off the boards - not scuba) they have musical lessons, they have swimming lessons, they have each other (don’t get me started on the falling birth rate = less siblings = increased isolation).

We have a large house and whilst both me and my wife both work, there’s generally always a parent in the house. We love each other. Our marriage is stable. The kids have space. We have a beautiful park at the end of our road (which makes our house more expensive to buy)

These privileges cost money AND they create an offline pull for our boys, so getting them off the screens into offline activities is straight-forward for us, not because we’re genius parents, but because we’re privileged. Many people are not.

MY CONCLUSION:

1. I don’t blame the influencers or young men.

2. I don’t blame the haters (who generally hate due to hurt/disappointment)

3. I do blame the direction of society and if we want change - if we want the negative elements of the manosphere to evaporate - if we want young men to seek positive community - if we want a rebirth of the offline world, then the solutions are complex and varied. They require commitment, cash, energy, balanced discussion and open minds.

As for Jimmy’s comments? Overall, I welcome them.

Have you watched the clips of his comments? What do you think?

If you want to bring the topic of men’s wellbeing to life, either as part of an away day, or as part of a wellbeing week initiative, or as part of men’s health week (June) or International Men’s Day (November) then get in touch and let’s talk.

I’m a CPD accredited and TEDx speaker, podcaster and author, delivering entertaining, inspirational and relatable keynote talks, grounded in lived experience and global research.

Connect with me at: https://www.andrewpain.co.uk/

And/ Or let’s connect on Linkedin and DM me to book an exploratory conversation